Life's funny, ain't it?
You think you have it all figuered. Alright, not ALL of it, but hey! - nobody's perfect. (I'm Nobody.)
You think you know your heart and it/he/she proves you wrong, ... every once in a while. I guess, then, that Paolo Coelho was right. Definitely. He said that true power comes from knowing your heart. Truely knowing. That means all the fears and desires, ..., it's to get to know YOU and who you really are, what you want in life.
It gives you strength and renders your foes, so to say, weaponsless. It also leaves them defenseless, in a way, since they know naught something you DO: one's own heart. (Reminds you of Brisingr, doesn't it?)
I'm sort of ship-wrecked right now. Why? Well, I can't really tell what my heart is trying to tell me. I know, actually, but for the time being, I'll refuse to believe it. He's tellin' me to pull back, to the starboard side and wheel the whole ship about. Somehow.
But I for one know that this would be a ... wrong thing to do. Why? Because if you stand still in this world, you're dead. If you're not dead physically, you ARE. Mentally, or otherwise. "You gotta keep on moving!" So that's exactly what I'll do.
I'll keep on moving, onto Al Araf, onto the Bridges of my heart, the ones I don't see an end to. I'll just .. sort of drift along, like in a jam session (yes, with a lot of jam and strawberries, yes, that's the one;). I'll improvise a bit, with an actual plan in progress, but I'l sincerely try to neglect it. Really. It will only work if I don't plan it anymore.
If anyone understood what I'm on about, well - good for you. Hope to meat ;) you someday. (Don't worry - I'm on the verge of becoming a vegetarian.)