Bill FCUKing Murray

Who is this guy, then? Well, if you don't know him, you might want to check Bill Murray on IMDb or on Wikipedia.

The original You're Awesome!
dude. Still from Stripes (1981).

If you're familiar with the concept, please, just read the stuff below. It'll blow your mind.

Bill Murray Answers questions on Reddit:  (or see Monuments Men Movie post on Facebook here).
This is also a good story to read: 12 Insane Things That Happened On My Night Out With Bill Murray | Dec. 3, 2013, by Alex J. Mann.

And while you're at it, 10 Stories That Prove Bill Murray Really Is The Most Interesting Man In The World |January 10, 2014 |, with pictures of Murray doing some crazy siht here.

If this isn't enough for you (I know, some of the jpgs are slightly lame or just ridiculously incredulous, so you're wondering - is any of this shit true?), you should check out the web page dedicated to collecting (sometimes fictional) Bill Murray stories, conveniently titled: Bill Murray Stories. There are real BM stories out there, though, see this about a party in St Andrews or this one (which might be the same event, actually).

"And you know, it's a lesson to all of us, to take what you love and make it the way you live your life, and that way you bring love into the world."

- Bill Murray on Reddit AMA session
Permalink here.

 

And if you didn't already, you really should see Groundhog Day. It's pretty nifty.

Also, in case you were wondering, the title of this post alludes to some other posts on the net and the movie where it sort of started, Zombieland (2009). See clip with Woody Harrelson here.

Aaaand, if you want to groove a bit, while you leave this site and go someplace nice with palmtrees painted on, you can also listen to Bill Muthafuckin Murray on Youtube.
 

What a-to-do ... to-day Mind Workshop

What a to do to die today,

at a minute or two to two,

a thing distinctly hard to say,

but harder still to do.

-- Warmup speech exercise at Mind Workshop,
by Matt Baram at Berlin Impro Festival

I laughed till I cried series.

I laughed till I cried.
Enjoy.

25 Photos You Need To Really Look At To Understand
http://www.buzzfeed.com/awesomer/photos-you-really-need-to-look-at-to-understand via @buzzfeed

If you want more humour to pee your pants, I suggest the Re: Re: Re: ... Re: Lamp, or some other things out there.

Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Lamp

This made me almost pee my pants in the university library. I highly recommend it. (Even if you don't carry humour around you all day long.)

From: Justin Flecker
Date: Sunday 6 May 2012 6.52pm
To: David Thorne
Subject: Lamp

... I received your note but you cant go onto other peoples property and take things, that's trespassing. Massanutten is a wooded area and I installed that light for security. It's a safety issue. I can't help it if some of the light goes across the road, close your curtains if it bothers you.

From: David Thorne
Date: Sunday 6 May 2012 7.41pm
To: Justin Flecker
Subject: Re: Lamp

Hello Justin,

Thank you for your email. While I accept that curtains are usually the key to community accord, in this instance they would need to be constructed of eight-inch-thick lead sheeting. Last night, with my curtains closed and bedside light off, I read a book. Wearing sunglasses. Under a blanket.

Though unconvinced that blinding local fauna is the best solution, I do understand the heightened need for security living in a wooded area such as the gated community of Massanutten demands. Having formerly lived my entire life in Australia, I am unfamiliar with much of the local wildlife but I did see my first raccoon last week. I stepped outside to have a cigarette and the raccoon, sitting less than five feet away beside an up-ended bin eating the remains of a Domino's Artisan Tuscan Salami pizza, hissed at me. Surprised, I threw myself backwards, rolled several times toward the door, and sprang to my feet holding the welcome-mat above my head to appear taller. Sometime during the roll-spring-mat maneuver, probably during the roll part as it was over gravel and I was wearing shorts and a thin t-shirt so I had to take it slow, the raccoon left. Which probably isn’t as exciting a story as it should be but this isn't Borneo and I’m not Jack London.

I did see a snake the other day though. I picked up a stick to poke it with which also turned out to be a snake. Jumping back in panic, I threw it away from me, but our dog thought I was playing fetch and I had to run and jump over a creek to get away.

As such, this weekend I intend to set up a canister of poisonous gas in my yard with an industrial fan behind it. I can't help it if some of the gas goes across the road.

Regards, David.

From: Justin Flecker
Date: Monday 7 May 2012 2.14pm
To: David Thorne
Subject: Re: Re: Lamp

Is that meant to be a threat? Put something up in your window if you don't like the light, we lived here 5 years before you even moved into the neighborhood and got along perfectly with Ryan who lived at your property before you. We went to his BBQ's and I loaned him our mower. We get along with all our neighbors. I dont know what you people do in your own country but in this country we dont go onto other peoples property and touch their stuff.

From: David Thorne
Date: Monday 7 May 2012 3.37pm
To: Justin Flecker
Subject: Re: Re: Re: Lamp

Dear Justin,

In my country, terawatt globes are reserved for police helicopter chases and warning sailors of hazardous shoals. This is despite the fact that practically every living creature there can kill you in under three minutes. Our primary spoken language is screaming.

I'm not surprised you get along well with all the other neighbours. If you put fifty children with Down's syndrome in a room there is going to be a lot of hugging.

And no, it was not a threat. It was an exaggerated response to an uncompromising stance. I was taught never to make a threat unless you are prepared to carry it out and I am not a fan of carrying anything. Even watching other people carrying things makes me uncomfortable. Mainly because of the possibility they may ask me to help.

I did consider installing a floodlight as bright as yours, but this would require some form of carrying things, electrical wiring knowledge, and access to a power supply capable of producing that amount of wattage. Probably fusion. As I am told off by my partner for wasting money when I leave the light on in the bathroom overnight, I can only speculate to what her reaction would be to an electricity bill eight times our annual income for retaliatory garden lighting. She would probably have to get a third job.

It would be much cheaper to stand in my driveway and throw rocks. I can't help it if some of the rocks go across the road. You should probably put something up in your window.

Regards, David.

From: Justin Flecker
Date: Tuesday 8 May 2012 10.01am
To: David Thorne
Subject: Re: Re: Re: Re: Lamp

Did you take our lamp again asshole? What part about not being allowed to go on our property don't you get?

From: David Thorne
Date: Tuesday 8 May 2012 10.32am
To: Justin Flecker
Subject: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Lamp

Dear Justin,

No, I did not take the light again. I relocated it again. Its current location may be discovered by deciphering the following set of clues to its whereabouts. Perhaps you could invite your friend Ryan over and treat it as a kind of treasure hunt:

1. It's in the letterbox again.
2. Look in the letterbox.

As I realise this probably won't narrow it down much for you, I will give you a third clue in the form of a riddle:

What burns with the light of a thousand suns and is in the letterbox?

Regards, David.

From: Justin Flecker
Date: Tuesday 8 May 2012 11.15am
To: David Thorne
Subject: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Lamp

I put a smaller lamp in so you can shut the f0ck up now. Don't email me again and if you ever trespass on our property again I will press charges.

From: David Thorne
Date: Tuesday 8 2012 12.02pm
To: Justin Flecker
Subject: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Lamp

Dear Justin,

What if I have a barbecue and need to send you an invitation? Is it ok to email you then?

Regards, David.

From: Justin Flecker
Date: Tuesday 8 May 2012 12.18pm
To: David Thorne
Subject: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Lamp

No it's not ok.

From: David Thorne
Date: Tuesday 8 May 2012 12.27pm
To: Justin Flecker
Subject: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Lamp

Dear Justin,

What if I need to borrow your lawn-mower? I can't invite people over for a barbecue and expect them to stand in long grass. Someone might be bitten by a snake. It's a safety issue.

Regards, David.

From: Justin Flecker
Date: Tuesday 8 May 2012 3.26pm
To: David Thorne
Subject: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Lamp

F*ck off back to Austria.

Progress and Witches

  'Only in stories,' said Granny, examining the door hinges. 'And she thinks she's in charge of the stories. She bends them around herself. She thinks she's the good one.'
  'Mind you,' said Magrat, 'I don't like swamps. If it wasn't for the frog and everything, I'd see Lily's point–' 
  'Then you're nothing but a daft godmother,' snapped Granny, still fiddling with the lock. 'You can't go around building a better world for people. Only people can build a better world for people. Otherwise it's just a cage. Besides, you don't build a better world by choppin' heads off and giving decent girls away to frogs.'
  'But progress–' Magrat began.
  'Don't you talk to me about progress. Progress just means bad things happen faster. Anyone got another hatpin? This one's useless.'
  Nanny, who had Greebo's ability to make herself instantly at home wherever she happened to be, sat down in the corner of the cell. [*Greebo is a tomcat.]

  -- Terry Pratchett, Witches Abroad, p.250

...

  'I heard this story once,' she said, 'where this bloke got locked up for years and years and he learned amazin' stuff about the universe and everythin' from another prisoner who was incredibly clever, and then he escaped and got his revenge.'
  'What incredibly clever stuff do you know about the universe, Gytha Ogg? said Granny.
  'Bugger all,' said Nanny cheerfully.
  'Then we'd better bloddy well escape right now.'

Ej, Mopped! spletna stran

Zdravo!

Zaživela bo spletna stran Ej, Mopped! No, je že, samo je še v procesu "pimpanja"!

Tako da - dobrodošli na strani in pridite nazaj, ko bo še hujša, najhujšejša!

Obama Turns 50 Despite Republican Opposition

August 4, 2011 | ISSUE 47•31 

WASHINGTON—After months of heated negotiations and failed attempts to achieve any kind of consensus, President Obama turned 50 years old Thursday, drawing strong criticism from Republicans in Congress. "With the host of problems this country is currently facing, the fact that our president is devoting time to the human process of aging is an affront to Americans everywhere," said Senate Minority Leader Mitch McConnell, who advocated a provision to keep Obama 49 at least through the fall of 2013. "To move forward unilaterally and simply begin the next year of his life without bipartisan support—is that any way to lead a country?" According to White House officials, Obama attempted to work with Republicans right up until the Aug. 4 deadline, but was ultimately left with no choice except to turn a year older.

Zeppelin xkcd

Zeppelin on Xkcd.

Chuck Norris jokes, pt. 2

Chuck Norris can sharpen a lightsaber.

Chuck Norris lost his virginity before his dad.

-Whoseyourdaddy?
-Chuck Norris.
-...

Chuck Norris was once pulled over.....he proceeded to arrest the police officer.


There is no 'Ctrl' button on Chuck Norris' computer. Chuck Norris is always in control.

Chuck Norris died 20 years ago, Death just hasn't built up the courage to tell him yet.

Chuck Norris je edini, ki ima lahko torbo IN kolo.

Fear of spiders is aracnaphobia, fear of tight spaces is chlaustraphobia, fear of Chuck Norris is called Logic.

Chuck Norris once urinated in a semi truck's gas tank as a joke....that truck is now known as Optimus Prime.

Ghosts sit around the campfire and tell Chuck Norris stories.

Chuck Norris counted to infinity - twice.
Chuck Norris can slam a revolving door.
When the Boogeyman goes to sleep every night, he checks his closet for Chuck Norris.

When Chuck went back in time to father himself, he got in a fight with himself. We know this ongoing battle as the aurora borealis.

Chuck Norris will never have a heart attack. His heart isn't nearly foolish enough to attack him.

Death once had a near-Chuck Norris experience...

Chuck Norris once got bit by a rattle snake........ After three days of pain and agony ..................the snake died.

There is no theory of evolution. Ther's just a list of animals Chuck Norris allows to live.

When Chuck Norris does a pushup, he isn't lifting himself up, he's pushing the Earth down.

http://www.chucknorrisfacts.com/chuck-norris-top-50-facts

Ena za čez vikend

A: Lahko probava za foro se 20 let ne slišat

pa pol butneva en hologramski pogovor

pa da vidva, kolk se ujameva;)

Or we could just grab a beer next Wednesday;)

 x:  zakaj točno sreda? :)

 me:  I like wednesdays

It's not a Monday, not Friday, caught up in the middle, jumping on the rhythm ..

;)

x:  ja sj vem, ta spodobni prjatli pridejo na vrsto sred tedna

razuzdanke pa za vikend

 me:  ta vikend sem se z eno prou gajstno matral

je imela kar nabrušen jezik, takorekoč!

Pa pihala je, pa cvilla, ... matr, baba in pol!

Da ti da stvari na pol!

 x:  sam da zob ne uporabla, pa je all good

 me:  Ta je bla TOČNO take sorte, k uporabla zobe

Sam sem to tud hotu

Mi je všeč, k to delam, da uporablja zobe.

Ene parkrat mi je še oči pomagu držat, da je lohka ona svoje opravla.

x:  hey, i'm not judging

 me:  Now you can

;)

(Sej veš, da govoriva o motorki, ne?

:)

x:  ja, njen priimek se rima na motorko, sej vem

Clones, you idiot!

Picture was scanned from a paper copy that was sitting in a drawer in Haren for oh, so many years and came, from what I presume was a newspaper Palm Beach Post back in the 80s...

'Ach, CRIVENS!'

Iz ene zlo fajn knjige od Terryja Practhetta, ki sem jo prebral ravno danes:
A Hat Full of Sky.
  p.46
'Aye, weel, this is different-' Rob Anybody began, but stopped.
  He hadn't been a husband for very long, but upon marriage men get a whole lot of extra senses bolted into their brain, and one is there to tell a man that he's suddenly neck deep in real trouble.
  Jeannie was tapping her foot. Her arms were still folded. She had the special smile women learn about when they marry, too, which seems to say 'Yes, you're in big trouble but I'm going to let you dig yourself in even more deeply.'
43
  'Still, that's my name, right?' he said, grinning.
  Jeannie nodded.
  'Just there, all by itself and no' on a Wanted poster or anything. My name, drawn by me.'
  'Yes, Rob,' said the kelda.
  'My name under my thumb. No scunner can do anythin' aboot it? I've got my name, nice and safe?'
  Jeannie looked at the toad, who shrugged. It was generally held by those who knew them that most of the brains in the Nac Mac Feegle clans ended up in the women.
  'A man's a man o' some standin' when he's got his own name where no one can touch it,' said Rob Anybody. 'That's serious magic, that is-'
  'The R is the wrong way roond and you left the A and Y out of "Anybody",' said Jeannie,
because it is a wife's job to stop her husband actually exploding with pride.
  'Ach, wumman, I didna' ken which way the fat man wuz walkin',' said Rob, airily waving a hand.
'Ye canna trust the fat man. That's the kind of thing us nat'ral writin' folk knows about. One day he might walk this way, next day he might walk that way.'
  He beamed at his name: ßoB NybO D

p. 349:
Why do you go away? So that you can come back. So that you can see the place you came from with new eyes and extra colours. And the people there see you differently, too. Coming back to where you started is not the same as never leaving.
338
Granny nodded. 'There's always a story,' she said. 'It's all stories, really. The sun coming up every day is a story. Everything's got a story in it. Change the story, change the world.'
331
She stood there watching the mountains until, after about an hour, a dot in the sky got bigger and bigger.
  As a Kelda, she would welcome home a warrior. As a wife, she would kiss her husband and scold him for being so long away. As a woman, she thought she would melt with relief, thankfulness and joy.

Pokemon card Chuck Norris

Uffa!

Chuck Norris' tears can cure cancer... To bad, he never cries.
For those of you who want to find Chuck Norris, go here.

Science and World Time

Stand back ...
... and many other, really cool comics and snippets (what's a snippet - surely not a small-sized, funny piece of information?) are available to everyone with an ounce of sense for surfing + on xkcd for those, less prone to i-waves.
  On another note (or more likely, the same), I found the picture I'm posting bellow, undoubtedly from xkcd.com as well - this and similar problems about the world always nagged me. It's kind of ironic, isn't it, when you think about it.
  The other day I was trying to explain something to this Dutch girl - how we are from Slovenia and always try to portray ourselves as being in Central Europe, but we're happy if the put us in the Southern Europe as well (if Italy's in, so can we) and how we don't like it if they try to mentally shuffle us into Eastern Europe - enough confusion there, with "Oh, yeah, you guys split up with Cheque sometime ago now, eh?" No, darn it! That was the Slovaks, were Slovenians ... What an unfortunate choice of names ...
  But then again - we can spell LOVE to whomever we write in Slovenia. Just how cool is that!?

If teachers taught histroy by using Facebook...

It just might go somewhat like this:

Click to open the page, it GETS BETTER! ;)

Fußball (also spelled Fussball or Fooseball*

*, if the ß-ligature is not available or unwanted) has two meanings: ...
vir: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Fussball

Kaj dobiš, ko zastaviš vprašanje glede nogometa očetu, ki je prišel čisto preveč prepozno domov, glede na to, da naj bi bil prišel iz službe? Na vprašanje:
"Ugani, kdo je zmagal med Mehiko in Francijo?"
-"Dubaj??"
-"...?!"

Pač eni niso za fuzbal. Eni pa ga sam gledajo. Eni pa niti ne vedo, kdo je igral TA trenutek. Spet tretji sploh ne poslušajo, ko jih vprašaš enostavno vprašanje s tremi možnimi odgovori ... Aaaah, sej ga mam rad.
Odpusti mu .. erm ... Oče, saj ne ve, kaj odgovarja.

F.R.I.E.N.D.S. in "zobke umit pa spat" no more

Kdo jih nae pozna? Okej, bom polinkal.
Ampak - počasi gledam vse sezone, starting with numero 1.
yep, well, I've done that one. Zdej sem v drugi, ko Ross in Rachel ... umgh!
  A ste bli vi tudi slučajno stari cca. 10 let (+/- 2 leti, gotta leave some room for standard error) in so bili F.r.i.e.n.d.s.i na TV-ju? Ob RES* poznih urah?? No, well, jaz sem bil. And it sucked. Zakaj, pobarate? No, ker pač nisem mogel gledat frendsov. Pa še prestavljal so jih. Enkrat so bili ob 23.30. Uuurrgggh!
Ampak zdej ... zdej ... zdej lahko gledam anytime I want. Ker so a) na netu in b) na prenosnem disku. In c) so izpiti. Damn. No, ampak d) sej človk rabi malce odmora, taku, možganskega anede? in e) se ne more učit čist CEL dan.

Kakorkoli, hotel sem samo napisati ene dve fori iz tega dela, ki je ravno in progress (you try to be awake a week in a row till 4 a.m., studying incredibly interesting facts of life, such as biology and co. offers):

Ross: "Rachel and Julie, ... that's the problem."
Joey: "HEY! I've got two words for you: threesome!"
...
Chandler: "You still got one left, you know."
//
Monica: "OK, this is pumpkin pie, .../.../ Mocholate chip cookies, Mocholate strawberry cake, ... taste it!"
Rachel: "OMG!"
Monica: "OMG good?"
R: "OMG I can't believe you let me put this into my mouth!"
Phoebe: "Sweet LORD! Ugh! This is what EVIL must taste like!"
... :)

*Res je takrat pomenilo 22.30.

Doe, a deer, a female deer ...

Pobrano s strani od Pozitivk .. citiram:

Glavna železniška postaja Antwerpen, Belgija...
Delovni dan ob 8h zjutraj, ljudje na poti v službo... in kaj doživijo?

I've got a feeling - parody by College Humour

The embedding doesn't work - they've disabled it on you-tube...
But the link is still good:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bCGmjmazE5c

Listen to the lyrics! ;) I looove the kite part.

Xkcd: I know you're listening

Zakon;)